So I've had class all week, but I haven't learned a thing... Want to know why? THE GREEN RACE IS UPON US!!! The mental infliction of the green race gives me the jitters, and I visualize running gorilla over and over again as my teacher rambles. Riot made a very good standing in last year's green race, taking three out of the top six shortboat times. The Magnum is proven to be a fast contender. Team Riot is making a good representation again at this year's race, so be on the lookout for some fast times in the Magnum.
Here's the team:
Spencer "The Donkey-Slayer" Cooke. Spencer is the man with the plan, and leader of the Riot pack. He's quick and dangerous. Be wary, last time Spencer raced the green was in 2005, and placed 5th in shortboat with a wicked 5:15. Spencer has been known to shoot a video or two, so get ready for a good sequel to the award-winning Enter the Donkey. The new flick is called Night of the Living Donkey, and should be in theatres within the next ten or twelve years. Go to effort.tv for more details.
Spencer dropping in to Sunshine. (Photo courtesy of effort.tv).
Spencer making the squeeze. Go Left and Die. (Photo: Nathan Silsbee)
David "The Charmer" Finney
Not much is known of this mysterious racer aside from the fact that he has a large head which helps him to ram through rocks when he flips over. Finney has two very good attributes in his favor: a very strong forward-stroke, and long eyelashes which assist him to snag the ladies. A dangerous combination indeed.
Finney running Cathedral. Linville Gorge. (Photo: Robin Betz)
Chris "Canadian Bacon" Gragtmans . As the nickname implies, Gragtmans comes from a foreign land... many thousands of miles away. It was in this land that he mastered his superior playboating skills, and rumor has it that he can throw a mean spin-to-helix. Graggle is a good candidate to win the whole thing this year, so watch out for a bright yellow flash of light as he darts down the river. More info about Chris at chrisgragtmansfacts.blogspot.com.
Chris dropping into Gorilla, well over the standard level. (Photo courtesy of effort.tv).
Chris pulling a sneaky move. (Photo courtesy of effort.tv).
Chris paddling hard in the attainments race. (Photo courtesy Lee Pirtle at email@example.com).
Cooper "The Manimal" Lambla
Cooper's smooth as margarine. Whether it be spitting some game at the ladies, or greasing Gorilla at 350 percent, Mr Lambla styles it all the way. You can track his extraordinary exploits at downstreammovement.blogspot.com. Coop-a-loop had a very fast run last year with a time of 5:09, placing him in fourth for shortboat class. Unfortunately, Cooper injured himself at the russell fork last week, and will not be racing. The top competitors should consider themselves lucky, because Cooper is one of the fastest, smoothest creek racers out there.
Cooper running the G-monk at scary low-water in a playboat.
Cooper charging it in the longboat last year. (Photo: Leland Davis)
Andy "Blue Dragon" Gates . Andy is an excellent singer, and can be seen throwing huge loops in the pop-up hole. If you don't know who Andy is, start doing your homework because he's one of the up and coming young paddlers in the southeast. Andy won't be racing, but he's paddling to give moral support to his teammates.
And myself . I like sushi, racquetball, and racing down the green. I'm excited to say I'll be racing longboat for my first year. I'd never taken a longboat down the green until yesterday (two days before the race), and it has been interesting getting the feel of the new boat. Big thank you to Robert Peerson for lending me the new Momentum.
Chiefs (Photo courtesy effort.tv)
Gorilla at scary low-water. (Photo courtesy effort.tv)
Battling Chris Graggle and Chris Gallaway at the head to head attainment race. (Photo courtesy Lee Pirtle at firstname.lastname@example.org).
Hope to see everyone out there, and be sure to carpool, as the parking situation at the trail-head is a bit chaotic.